Redneck or Not?

I received the following e-mail from cricket, a fellow member of the South Mississippi Protest Warriors:

You might be a Redneck if:

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those.

If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends.

Ya'll know who ya' are...

You might be a Redneck if:

1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."

2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."

4. You remove your hat and bow your head when anyone prays.

5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play our National Anthem.

6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

7. You've never burned an American flag, but would kick someone's ASS that did.

8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

9. You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about above. God Bless the USA!

I know I am a redneck!! In response to #7, though I would never ever burn our flag, I would not kick someone's a@@ for doing so. I don't like it but if someone is stupid enough to burn our flag, that most precious symbol of freedom, let them. Let the folks in the media show the stupidity of those burning it and I might suggest that those fellow countrymen of ours who feel compelled to burn our flag in our country, go to say, Cuba, and see what happens to you when you burn the Cuban flag. On the list, #8 gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes, but I jump right in and state my opinion even if it is unpopular. I will come right out and say it. I believe that the Confederate flag is a symbol that needs to be given up and gives the past a romantic slant that never was. I have three ancestors who fought on the Confederate side, two who were killed, one from bullet wounds suffered at Gettysburg and the other from wounds suffered from a battle in Virginia, though I am not sure which one.

I also have a one that fought for our liberties in the American Revolution, though details are very sketchy. One that fought in the War of 1812, one in the Battle of the Little Big Horn, one in WWII who lost his arm. So to me the Confederate flag is a slap in the face to the United States of America. These words have meaning, united states, not divided states. President Lincoln held our great nation together and a massive, bloody war was fought and brave men on both sides gave up their lives. But thank God, the union of the states was preserved.

I have very many interesting arguments about this issue but this is my opinion.


Anonymous Felis said...

It appears I am a redneck myself.
How about this joke to cheer you up a bit:

Democrat, a Republican and a Southern Republican?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:


Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).


Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

3:34 PM  
Anonymous seawitch said...


That's a good one!!

4:10 PM  
Blogger Rosemary said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Great one, Felis!

Dear Karen,
I do believe, even though I'm a New Yorker, I am a redneck!

However, I WOULD kick someone if they were trying to burn a flag around me! It isn't just a symbol to me. It is a representation of all I believe. Yes, including GOD! Take that, you ACLU lovers! hehehe.

I sure hope you feel better soon. :)

11:34 PM  
Anonymous gravelrash said...

I am proud to be a red-neck, if those attributed are the qualifications. I'm an Aussie, but I love America.....and I can't understand Americans who delight in gutting that great nation under God.

3:57 AM  
Anonymous seawitch said...

Hi gravelrash,

Rednecks rule!!

4:24 AM  
Blogger GunnNutt said...

I love a good Redneck joke. They're so uniquely American.

5:58 AM  
Anonymous seawitch said...


felis is from Australia! Rednecks are now an international phenom!

6:16 AM  

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