At Shabbat services Friday, we did not have a minyan. A brief discussion was held as to why. Most thought it was because of the supper and services held at a Presbyterian church in Gulfport with Hillel students. Others thought it was because of the slack usually seen after holidays such as Purim. Whatever the case may be, it gave me a chance to really hear the Hebrew and I was heartened to know that I can follow much better. It's been getting better week by week. I told someone last week that I feel a little lost sometimes but he said we are all a little lost.
But what struck me was the discussion on the Torah portion. The Torah scrolls are safe even though Beth Israel suffered suffered damage. They are not present in the Methodist church hall that we use for our services. Usually the leader talks about the portion. This week it was about the golden calf at Sinai.
It's wonderful which directions discussions can take. One person brought up how one of the readings during services say that we are to be witnesses to the Torah and the Torah was given to us. This led to how each generation of Jews makes this discovery for themselves and takes up the challenge of being witnesses to the Torah. It echoes throughout history. One brought up this echo is much like the Big Bang. Sounds of the Big Bang can still be heard today. The challenges and the gift of Sinai echo much the same and resonate among Jews.
I am still thinking about the discussion and how it relates to my own discovery. Four years ago I was a catechist teacher for 1st graders. I was at a class that all catechists must take to be certified. They were showing slides of a synagogue. Something reached out to me when I saw the bimah. The subsequent slides of pictures from Israel hammered the message home. I did not belong in a Catholic church, I belonged with the faith of my father, grandfather, grandmother, and cousin's.
I resigned as a cathechist and stopped going to Catholic services. I started reading about the faith of my father and felt I was coming home. Sometimes I'm still confused rather or nor I can call myself a Jew. I feel as though I'm one of the generation who reaching out to be a witness to the Torah but I have so much to learn!