7/10/2005

Miscellaneous Jokes for Sunday

SUPPORT A FAMILY: THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU SUPPORT A FAMILY?"

THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST PLANNING TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES."



GRANDMA'S AGE: LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."

JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"



CLIMB THE WALLS: "OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU," THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO HIS GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE. "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED.

"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU CAME TO VISIT" THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED.



THE MOOD RING:
MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME A MOOD RING THE OTHER DAY. WHEN I'M IN A GOOD MOOD IT TURNS GREEN. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD, IT LEAVES A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD.



THE WATER PISTOL: WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL.. HE SQUEALED WITH DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK.
I WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER GUNS?"

MOM SMILED AND THEN REPLIED..... ;"I REMEMBER."



LIFE AFTER DEATH: "DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.

"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE,"THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL,SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really good jokes Seawitch.
We need some light hearted entertainment to stay sane.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Humor and laughter are what gets me through most days.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Deadman said...

The Mood Ring - LOL!!!!!

5:34 PM  
Blogger Esther said...

Me too, Mark. I loved that one! These were fun, Seawitch. I liked 'em a lot!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad ya'll enjoyed!!

3:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where are you Seawitch?

I hope you're well.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

felis,

Well but tired. had to set-up all workstations and server today.

5:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good.
You got me worried for a while.

5:49 PM  

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