Just Having a Little Fun

Gene Weingarten at the Jewish World Review makes a habit of calling the toll free numbers of corporations and then making what he terms stupid, immature, harassing calls to customer service reps. From his batch this week when he tries to get a refund:

The Gillette Co.

Me: I am calling about Gillette Foamy shaving cream with "comfort glide." I am very dissatisfied with this product.

Kelly: Okay.

Me: I am a political activist, and I express my displeasure about corporate greed through concussive acts of civil disobedience for the purpose of strategic humiliation. And I have found your product to be insufficient for the purpose.

Kelly: I'm sorry, you kind of lost me.

Me: I am a pie-face assassin. I hit people in the face with pies. Traditionally, we use graham cracker crusts filled with shaving cream. That is the accepted industry norm. But your shaving cream does not have sufficient adhesion.

Kelly: So, the problem is it doesn't stick to the face?

Me: Right. And I'd like a refund.

Kelly: I don't know that there's a whole lot I can do for you.

Me: But I have 150 cans!


Anonymous Jonathan said...

Gene Weingarten writes regularly for the Washington Post, every Sunday in the magazine. He inherited Dave Barry's old humor beat (the column is called "Below the Beltway"). I think he's funny as hell. Joel Achenbach ("Rough Draft") is also pretty good.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous seawitch said...


I've read Weingarten a few times. I'll check out Joel Achenbach.

6:09 PM  

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