Proper Use of Anger and Rage
Dr. Sanity had a post in July called Battered-Left Syndrome in which she proposes that the Left is in denial much like some battered women are.
I'll call her Alice--who was seen frequently in the ER because her husband used to beat her fairly regularly.
...
The last time I saw Alice, she was unconscious and being wheeled into the operating room after a particularly savage beating from her loving husband. She never made it off the operating table
It made start to think how I avoided ending up like Alice. You see my ex-husband used to verbally and physically abuse me. The worst "incident" was when he choked me into unconsciousness in front of our child. I went to my Mom's for 3 days but had to go back because I didn't have a job. I found a job, a lawyer, and a place to live in that order. My anger at this betrayal from the person who was supposed to be my soul mate knew no bounds. It simmered and simmered until it became rage.
This rage is what made it possible to leave behind this "man". The last week before I moved out for good, he had me cornered in the kitchen with a 2x4, I did not show any fear and just told him, "Go ahead and hit me, you can't hurt me any worse than you have already". He hung his head and left.
If I didn't have the rage I felt, I too would more than likely have stayed until the beatings became worse and would have ended up a statistic and dead. If I hadn't had the rage, I would never have received the help I needed to overcome this. I had to hang onto my rage for a long time in order to develop defense mechanisms and so I wouldn't fall into a pattern of him hitting and me leaving. And my counselor encouraged me to express my anger in constructive ways so that it would not overwhelm me.
Anger used properly, can goad you into taking the necessary steps needed to get out of a bad situation and to goad you to improve your life. Anger and rage saved my life.
posted by SEAWITCH at
9:45:00 AM
10 Comments:
patrickafir,
Thanks. I have learned to channel my anger and it has become a very effective tool.
I wish I could say that. I know exactly what you mean. Only my ex is stalking me. I call the police everytime I get a letter, they take a report, and nothing is done. He is wanted for parole violations. They want me find him, then tell them-with him right there-where we are! My restraining order is a piece of crap. He has kidnapped me before. I am in prison in my home, so I write and write and write. I try to help others because I have to do something. Thank you for sharing your story. I blame myself. I left my first love because of this, and I promised myself--never again. It happened again. That's why I blame myself. Not because it happened. Because I stayed. I have to go. Take care.
rosemary,
That is so outrageous. I am praying for you. E-mail me if you need to talk about it.
Karen
"My anger at this betrayal from the person who was supposed to be my soul mate knew no bounds. "
Karen, Rosemary,
I just cannot express how I feel after reading your stories.
It must hurt so much to feel betrayed and let down by someone you trusted.
felis,
Years of hurt.
SW,
Thank you.
Rosemary,
Dont and I mean DONT, blame yourself. From what I understand,never mind, too long an explanation, but like SW, e-mail me and maybe, no not maybe, I can help ya understand this a little better.
You come 1st, focus on yourself BEFORE you tend to help others.
You did good.
mickey,
Thank you.
Rosemary,
I don't own a gun myself, but perhaps you should consider getting one (and learning how to use it). I hate to think of you with no means of defense.
To all,
I have sent Rosemary a copy of all your comments. It should help her to know of your concern.
rosemary responded after I e-mailed her our concerns about her situation. This is her response:
Dear Karen,
The only reason it took so long for me to respond is because I just woke up! lol. 10pm is about the time I wake up.
Thanks for all your concern. I have a .22LR. My brother has 2 bigger guns and machete. I am very well protected. That is why I stay here. The stupid people in California have made it so that I cannot (nor most people) carry a weapon outside of the house. They even want us to register the bullets! My God! ...and the murderers and drug runners go free? Stupid.
I appreciate very much all the support that everyone has shown. When I said I blamed myself, I was refering to the fact that I stayed as long as I did, and at times, I still love him. I have to constantly remind myself that I love a man that does not exsist. It is a man I made up in mind so as not to face the truth of my situation.
Once it became apparent that my life was in danger, I snapped back into reality. What I blame myself for is...I know better! I told my brother this analogy: you know how everyone is really smart in some areas but totally stupid in that one area of which it could be anything? Well, mine is men! lol. I have not, nor will I ever, allow this to happen again. That is another reason why I stay at home.
I'm too friendly. I say hello to anybody and everyone. I believe that if you say hello with a great big smile, you may have touched a flickering light that was on it's way out. You never really know! Your smile may save a life, and you have less wrinkles. What a great thing!
At the same time, I do not want to meet anyone. Such a dilemna! lol. There are people I trust. I just don't trust myself to know the difference between the good guys and the bad ones. I have a bad habit of being drawn toward the bad ones! I used to go to the weekends before the no-helmet rides. It isn't that we didn't want to wear helmets, it is just we want government out of our lives! hehehe. Amazingly, the only thing the Left is concerned about is keeping the privilage of murdering their children (and use them for research?). Isn't that what they were doing in Germany in 1930-1945??? Hmm.
Oh, look at me just jabbering on about things! Please do not worry. I have already talked to the police. I have made it known that if he gets in this apt., he is not leaving alive. My brother was glad to hear that, because he has been affected by having to watch what he could see. He may finally get his wish. I just wish we didn't have to wait until that happens. They police are on notice, and I made sure of my rights. As long as he breaks in to my apt., I have permission to kill him. Gee, thanks. Do ya think you kind of FIND him first??? LOL.
Thank you, everyone, for your concern. I hope I was able to relieve some of your fears, worries and anger. I do believe that God is watching over this situation. About blaming myself, one more thing. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! I completely know that any actions he did are totally and whollly owned by HIM. The thing I do admit to is that I should have left earlier than I did, BUT AT LEAST I DID!!! YIPPEE!!! lol.
Thank you so much for all of your concern. You have my permission to pass this on to the others who are concerned. I guess when I read what happened to you, it hit me in a way that found some hidden rage. That is bound to happen every now and then. It doesn't happened that often, though. The Lord has brought me safe thus far, and I know He'll see me through. Remember the song, "Amazing Grace"? It is a beautiful song.
Oh, you know the best way to get back at your enemies? Pray for them. Let God know that you don't really mean it. Let Him know that you hate this. Just keep doing it. Pretty soon, you will start to mean it. Then you will be able to have pity on this pathetic piece of crap! lol. Well, I guess I need to pray some more. lol. Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Rosemary
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